⚠ NO DIET AFTER DARK ⚠ DIET RIOT ⚠ UNAUTHORIZED CRUMBS ⚠ NO DIET AFTER DARK ⚠ DIET RIOT ⚠ UNAUTHORIZED CRUMBS ⚠ NO DIET AFTER DARK ⚠ DIET RIOT ⚠
You've started this diet four times this year.
Monday was always the day. Then it was next Monday. Then it was "after the holidays." We're not here to help you start again — we're here to help you stop starting. Diet Riot isn't anti-health. It's anti-guilt. No detox, no cleanse, no "earned it" math. Just a cookie, made right, eaten without a spreadsheet attached.
The Lineup
CONTRABAND
01
The Uprising
Double chocolate, dark cocoa base, chunks of two different chocolates so no bite is the same.
FLAGSHIP
02
Curfew Breaker
Salted caramel, brown butter base, flaky sea salt on top. Built for the ones who don't go home early.
FAN FAVORITE
03
Contraband
Biscoff, chocolate chip, and marshmallow, stuffed into a molten center.
LIMITED DROP
04
Repeat Offender
Classic chocolate chip, made for people who order the same thing every time and have zero regrets about it.
CLASSIC
05
Relapse
Peanut butter, dense and heavy-handed. For the ones who said "just one" and meant it as much as you did.
HEAVY
06
Banned Batch
Rotating seasonal flavor, here for a few weeks then gone. No reruns, no restocks. Get it before it's confiscated.
SEASONAL
07
Junior Offender
Rainbow sprinkle sugar cookie, soft-baked, nothing spicy or bitter about it. First offense forgiven.